The Right Way to Manage Your Toddler’s Feelings

Now that your two-year-old is beginning to understand the impact that he has on the world around him, he is also starting to become aware that other people may not see the world in quite the same way.

During the toddler years these “dangers” may include, for example, being left to cry for long periods, picking up on parental tension or unhappiness, and being yelled at. Anxiety triggers a powerful and automatic reaction within the most primitive part of the brain that drives our instinct for survival.

When we experience intense emotions, such as anger, fear, and even excitement, the brain tells the body to release stress hormones that will either make us challenge the situation (fight), or run away from it (flight). These “fight or flight” hormones, especially adrenaline and cortisol, then block the production of “feel good” hormones, such as oxytocin.

Everyone experiences anxiety, but some people deal with these feelings better than others. we now know that our ability to cope has its roots in our childhood experiences. During the toddler years, a child relies almost totally on caring adults to help him to manage his “big” feelings.

However, children at this age can easily become overexcited and will need help to know when they are going too far. This direction may come from your tone of voice or facial expression, or by giving your toddler a break between a period of having a laugh, then calming down. You are a very important role model for your child’s behavior; at this age he will copy not only what you want him to do, but also many things that you would rather he didn’t! One of the most effective methods of getting him “on the right track” is to show him what you want him to do. This period of learning is all about showing, not telling. Let your toddler watch, observe, and try for himself.

By the age of 2-3, your toddler’s anxiety about being separated from you is gradually diminishing, only to be replaced by a range of fears stimulated by his developing imagination and awareness of the wider world. it is natural for toddlers to be scared of new experiences at this age, but their anxiety will usually pass if it is carefully handled.

Children show anxiety in a variety of ways. Some cry, others may become very quiet, clingy, or whiny. Nervous tics are also quite common at this age – that is, involuntary muscle spasms that children cannot control-such as rapid blinking or twitching; but most disappear of their own accord. Whatever the signs, your child needs to be reassured. Each time you hug him and help him to cope, you are increasing his chances of being able to manage his feelings and deal with stress as he grows up. Children who are reprimanded rather than comforted will worry and become more anxious more often. They are also more likely to develop later behavioral problems such as phobias, bed-wetting, or soiling.

Sarabelle Ando writes for an childcare website and has some amazing ideas on selecting the best boys skating shoes.