Things You Should Know About Midwives

Today we have lots of pregnant women who opt to give birth at home therefore end up hiring midwives. A huge portion of the population knows what midwives do for the pregnant women some are still in the dark about this. We see lots of women giving birth at home in our generation. You will find out that women choose to give birth at home because it is cheaper and can be very comfortable as compared to giving birth in a hospital. This page will discuss the roles that a midwife plays in the home birthing process.

A midwife is someone who has acquired the qualifications to be registered and to legally practice midwifery. She must be able to give the necessary supervision, care and advice to women during pregnancy, labor and the postpartum period. She must also be capable of conducting deliveries on her own and to care for the newborn. You will find professional midwives practicing in hospitals, clinics, health units, and even in homes or in any other service.

A midwife is a health professional who, in partnership with the woman, provides care and education plus support during the childbearing cycle. She will assist you and your family during the whole course of the pregnancy, birth and the postnatal period. You will have the help of the midwife during the early stages of parenting and nursing. These midwives know for a fact that child bearing and birthing is part of the life altering events in a family’s life.

Having a professional midwife will give you help in keeping in the best health possible your whole pregnancy. Bringing your midwife to your doctor will help coordinate the best health care available for you. Have your midwife talk to your doctor since she is the one responsible for your home birthing. Always do whatever the midwife tells you to do as long as the doctor allows it.

It is important that you hire an excellent professional midwife to help you with your child birth at home. Make sure that you hire a midwife that you can be comfortable with. Always interview them and get to know their experiences before hiring anyone. Make sure that you are hiring someone you will be comfortable with and is excellent and well experienced since you are going to trust her with your life and your baby’s life.

If you want more of your questions answered see this San Diego midwifery service.

Got Stretch Marks? Want To Get Rid Of Them?

If you’ve just become a mom you know how happy your new baby can make you. But you also may know how unhappy your new stretch marks may also make you.

Getting rid of stretch marks is one of the biggest concerns of women who have recently had a baby. Not all new mums have stretch marks to contend with, but as those who do have them will tell you, removing stretch marks is one of their major concerns. But it’s estimated that over 75% of new mums have stretch marks to show off.

There’s a number of reasons you may get stretch marks when you’re pregnant, and stretch marks aren’t confined to pregnancy. Girls can, for example, also get them during puberty.

And it is also possible that you increase your risk of getting stretch marks if your mother had them, so it seems to be genetic too.

Do you have any options for removing stretch marks?

There are several options, one is to just do nothing and hope they go away. Some mothers just use a simple moisturizer and hope this will be sufficient.

And there is the risky and expensive options like cosmetic surgery like laser treatments.

And there are creams that are available that are designed specifically to reduce the signs of stretchmarks, though again have mixed results.

Microderm abrasion is even an option, though not one I would choose.

And if you’ve considered and rejected all of these the good news is that there are less intrusive less risky more natural approaches that are also quite successful, though as stated there are no guarantees. These include such options as simple home remedies combined with dietary changes, and some herbal and natural products, and specific exercises.

Many women don’t realize that there is an alternative more natural, cheaper approach that doesn’t involve some of the expense and risk of some other methods.

So if the cost and/or the risks associated with some methods of removing stretch marks scares you there are other, cheaper and less risky, more natural options for you to choose.

Find out more on my website.

Visit Peter’s website Make Stretch Marks Vanish to find out about how to remove stretch marks safely.

How To Conceive A Baby Girl

Would you like to bring balance to your family by adding a little baby girl? Does your husband long for his “daddy’s little girl”?

Regardless of your reasons there are simple, at home, all natural steps you can take that can put the odds in your favor. How much in your favor? How about raising your odds from 50/50 to over 94%!

A simple three step system was developed by the late Dr. Landrum Shettles, and his simple methods have helped countless thousands of couples successfully choose the gender of their babies. Now let’s take a quick look at these steps more detail shall we?

1. You need to learn how to predict your day of ovulation. I realize this is difficult for some women, but you’ll need to know when your going to ovulate, as this is a very important in order to time when to have sex to conceive.

2. Have sex to conceive in the right way. What do I mean by that? Well you’ll want to have sex in positions that will allow for shallow penetration if you are wanting to conceive a baby girl.

3. You’ll need to control your body’s ph. There are test strips available at my site to help you keep track of you ph and help you know when the time is right! You can control your ph with your diet and taking a few supplements (over time) or much quicker by douching with the right solution, (although because of the risk of infections I would recommend using douching only under your doctors supervision.)

These techniques while being low-tech and easy to implement will still need to be implemented with precision and diligence if you are to be successful in conceiving that baby girl you desire.

You can visit my site for more information or links to one of the guides you’ll need as an ebook you can purchase and download in minutes. If you are truly serious about gender selection, you should seek all the help you can, and even if you fail in your attempt of conceiving a baby girl, you may still have a beautiful baby boy to love and cherish.

For more info stop by my main blog and learn How To Have A Girl Baby

Am I Pregnant Quiz – Pregnancy Test

Do you suspect you are pregnant? Many women suspect they are pregnant just about the time they are! It’s a built in trigger that lets them know, Hey something’s up with my body. There are several questions you can ask yourself if you think you may be pregnant. This Am I pregnant quiz will help you know if you should contact your doctor or family physician.

The first question on the ‘am I pregnant quiz’ is about your monthly menstruation. Most women get a break from their monthly periods while they are with child. However, this does not hold true for all women. There are also many reasons why one might skip a cycle. There are other factors that may cause you to skip a period, like too much weight loss or gain. Even stress can be a factor in why a woman’s cycle is delayed.

Secondly, have your breasts changed recently? This is a key question for the ‘am I pregnant’ quiz. While pregnant your breasts will change. They may change in the way they look, and how sensitive they are. The areola will change also. It will change in color and size.

Thirdly, are you more tired than usual? Do you tire out during common daily activities? This is a common symptom of pregnancy. Signs of fatigue are going to be earlier each evening and finding it more difficult to get up in the mornings.

The fourth question to answer on our ‘am I pregnant’ quiz is concerning urination habits. When you are pregnant the kidneys enlarge because the body is creating more blood to nourish the baby. This causes you to have to make more frequent trips to the bathroom.

And the fifth ‘am I pregnant’ quiz symptom is morning sickness. This is a common occurrence for many pregnant women. Not all women experiences morning sickness but most have some type of nausea or dizziness especially at the onset of pregnancy. This unpleasant factor usually only lasts for the first trimester, however , many women experience it longer and some for the duration of the pregnancy. Sometimes it is triggered by a particular food, or even a smell. Usually, it does not take too much to cause morning sickness symptoms.

If you could answer yes to more than two of the questions above you might be pregnant. An easy home pregnancy test can confirm it if you are. If it shows that you are positively pregnant, be sure to speak to your medical doctor or doctor to start caring for you and your child as soon as possible If it is negative, yet you are experiencing 2 or more of the symptoms listed on the ‘am I pregnant’ quiz; check with your personal doctor.

Want to find out more about Am I pregnant, then visit Anna MorTis’s site on how to choose the best Am I pregnant quiz for your needs.

How Early In Pregnancy Do You Need Maternity Clothes

All the symptoms are there and the test shows a pink plus sign, even the doctor confirmed your suspicions, you are definitely having a baby. As an expectant mother a million things are probably running through your mind and one of those things is probably how your body is going to change over the next nine months. So you may ask yourself, how early in pregnancy do you need maternity clothes.

There really is not set rule or time frame on when to start. Most women start in the second trimester around four or five months, while others may need to start soon after finding out. The only rule to really follow is that when you start to feel uncomfortable in pre-pregnancy clothes is the time to seriously consider doing a bit of shopping.

You’ll find that today the clothes to accommodate expecting mothers are a long way from the clothes your mother wore. They are more fashionable, more comfortable and come in a lot more different styles, shapes and colors. Finding tops to wear isn’t that hard, there are so many to choose from within the maternity line and out of. But when it comes to jeans and pants that is when things get a bit tricky. Locating a good pair is necessary, usually you’ll need more than one, as your body will change throughout and you’ll need something more comfortable the closer to the due date you get.

There are many different styles of maternity jeans to choose from, so picking the right one is easier now than before. You can be fashionable and comfortable at the same time because of the attention now paid to maternity clothing. Many different designers cater just to expecting mothers.

Some jeans have the front panel only, with the back part of the jean looking normal and the front with a stretchy material that goes over the bottom half of your belly. And there are some that have an interior adjustable stretchy waist. This allows your waistband to grow with your belly and they can last throughout the whole experience if the legs are roomy enough. These types are usually the most comfortable at the start for some women.

The belly band style is one of the most popular today though. The jeans begin under the belly and the belly band, which is a stretchy material, goes up over your belly, normally within two or three inches of the breasts. These types are especially comfortable for those who enjoy the hip hugger style of jean in keeping in their prepregnancy fashion style.

You will also find jeans with the belly band that can be folded down or pulled up, depending on what feels most comfortable for you. These are a good choice for those who want the extra support under the belly, by keeping the band folded down.

Asking how early in pregnancy do you need olian maternity clothes can give you a multitude of answers as each pregnancy is different. But as soon as you start to feel a bit more comfort is needed in your clothing then it is time to start checking out the shops or maternity clothes online for what you need. Think about buying just a few pieces of a time to get started and letting your body decide when the next shopping trip is.

Looking for maternity clothes and fashionable maternity clothing? Then be sure to check out the amazing collections at Due Maternity.

The Perfect Treatments For Morning Sickness

Some 90% of expectant moms suffer from morning sickness in the first development stages of pregnancy. Nausea as well as morning sickness do not pose great concerns, unless it is very serious. Really serious vomiting might lead to depletion of nourishing elements and thus could require that you see your health care professional.

Though called morning sickness, this could be experienced during all parts of the day. Becoming uneasy, fatigued or perhaps tired, decreased hunger, morning sickness and headaches can begin first thing in the morning. The signs and symptoms sometimes continue all through a day and occasionally just for a few hours.

To be able to overcome these ailments, there is no requirement to have normal medicine, since they can be manipulated successfully by simple home treatments. Drugs are unsafe during maternity as there are possibilities of harming a developing child. Some easy and efficient home remedies could possibly reduce suffering.

- Definitely do not hurry while coming out of bed. Step out of your bed relaxed and at ease.

- Get proper rest throughout the day, as well as overnight.

- Avoid particular aromas that cause morning sickness.

- Have dried cookies or maybe dried cereal products when you wake up.

- Avoid lots of spicy and oily foods, which may produce acid reflux disease and digestive system problems.

- Sensing particular oils like lemons, cuts down on morning sickness.

- Digest along with your desire and going just for brief frequent meals rather than big portions at once.

- Drink peppermint flavored tea and ginger, assists in decreasing morning sickness.

- Eliminate drinking lots of liquid at once. Liquids must always be consumed in small quantities all throughout a day to prevent dryness.

- Taking small quantities of healthy proteins snacks is better than an unfilled stomach, because this makes morning sickness worse.

There are absolutely no worries, concerning morning sickness. Yet, when ignored it could eventually cause weakness along with nutrient insufficiency in the initial trimester of conceiving.

Want to find out more about morning sickness symptoms, please visit www.severemorningsickness.com to find the best advice on morning sickness remedies for you.

Why Are So Many Children Losing Their Hearing?

There are an increasing number of cases being reported by doctors of young children losing their hearing. Many of these patients are predicted to have the hearing capacity of a 60 year old by the age of 30. However this epidemic is not down to diseases or a virus but the rising exposure to high volumes of noise.

The rise in popularity of MP3s and personal entertainment devices is causing many children to listen to music in earphones without observing the noise guidelines, this kind of concentrated noise damages the ears, often beyond repair. Many children are often exposed to loud noises against their will, for example being taken to a music or sporting event by their parents, although their parents may have no idea that it poses a risk. Dr Martin, Professor of preventive medicine at Oregon Health and Science University in Portland said, “If a sound reaches 85 decibels and over an extended period, it can permanently damage hearing. The safe level for an iPod is 80 per cent on the volume slider. If you listen to music at that level, you can safely listen for 90 minutes a day.”

If you consider that a normal conversation would occur at 60 decibels of sound, a level that is completely harmless to the ears, when exposed to a loud concert or busy motorway, often at around 120dB, this can be very irritating. Prolonged exposure to these levels can cause serious damage. Exposure to noises above 150dB such as a jet engine or pneumatic drill can cause instant irreparable damage. Even noises at a constant low level can cause high blood pressure, stress, anxiety and insomnia.

There is a simple way of determining the whether your headphone volume is too loud, stand at arms length from someone with the music on and, if you cannot hear them talk, the volume is too loud. High volumes can physically damage your ears but in many cases will manifest in an affliction called Tinnitus. Tinnitus is a terrible condition that causes a permanent loud ringing noise in the ear and can often take over a person’s life. Although some cases are treatable, it usually remains present and victims are forced to suffer an unbearable ringing noise in their ear for the rest of their life.

In developed countries, 12% of children aged 12 to 19 have hearing loss to some extent that is caused entirely by exposure to loud noise. Although there are laws regarding noise levels in a workplace, there are no laws about personal exposure.

Treating the rising number of cases of hearing loss is requiring hospitals to create more jobs for nurses.

The Significance Of Watching Your Diet When Pregnant

Maternity can be a wonderful thing although it can also be an incredibly stressful time for many women. Hormonal fluctuations are one thing, the tiredness as well as the change in body shape can be quite distressing for some.

Stretch marks, sagging boobs, and pants that simply fail to go on the way they would once. Most females just find it so tough to keep their self-esteem up when their bodies are under-going such significant changes.

Have you ever wondered how those Hollywood celebrities manage to get pregnant and still look amazing? These guys can make just about anything look sexy, can’t they? What’s their secret?

Before going on, one must always understand that gaining some weight during pregnancy is nature’s way in offering sustenance to your baby. Starting a diet program is not advisable!

Putting on an excessive amount of pounds might cause pregnancy complications as well as jeopardize a baby’s well being. So be mindful of that. Research have shown that women who put on a lot of weight during pregnancy usually end up working ten times harder than other women who maintained their weight all the way till child birth.

Say you decided to monitor your weight in the early stages, you’ll have a less difficult time afterward in getting your old body back.

If you’re in this situation it is advised that you start keeping track of your weight and eat healthy foods at reasonable quantities that are good for both you and your baby.

This is not a very hard thing to do, but you will need to have the will power to fight those cravings (which will come and go) and avoid eating junk food that is only going to make your weight maintenance goals even harder to reach.

Despite what you might have heard or read in magazines, getting some exercise will do you and your baby a world of good as well. You shouldn’t be doing any excessive activity or going for kick-boxing aerobics clearly, just stick to the light exercise like walking on a treadmill for instance.

Looking beautiful during as well as after maternity seriously isn’t impossible. If others have achieved it, then so can you. All that’s required is to stay focused and start your routine with little baby steps, and very soon you will develop a healthy lifestyle that requires very little effort from you to maintain.

Are you currently pregnant but have to attend a wedding? You may well like to have a look at the maternity wedding dresses homepage in which the publisher shares her opinions on the most appropriate looks.

What You Should Know About Acute Throat Infections In Kids

Tonsillitis is quite a common infection suffered by many children at a young age but isn’t only limited to kids, adults can get it from time to time as well. Tonsillitis occurs when the tonsils (which are two glands at the back of the mouth) become infected trigger a bad sore throat as well as fever. Although tonsils can easily get infected and are a big nuisance, they play a vital role to one’s health, as we shall see further on in the article.

When children get a case of tonsillitis, what generally occurs is very bad sore throat where the swallowing of solid foods or even saliva can be quite painful. In some cases, breathing becomes difficult too as the tonsils have a tendency to swell up and block the air passage at the start of the throat. Having trouble speaking is also not uncommon. The child will also run a high fever that usually only lasts a few days and subsides just as quickly as it emerged. During an infection, the tonsil turn to an extremely red hue and depending on how far the bacteria has worked its way in, the child might develop puss – you can usually tell as the tonsils are covered with little white or creamy colored dots.

Since tonsillitis is quite a common occurrence especially with children under 10 years of age, you do not have to worry too much as it will pass and it is not life threatening. However you will need to make sure the child’s fever does not run too high as that can caught severe brain and organ damage. Paracetamol is a good way to keep the fever down while drinking a lot of water is vital. While eating and swallowing will be difficult, you can help your child by giving him or her foods that are easy to take down and digest. Yogurt, oatmeal, porridge and some bread are all great examples of this. Most children love ice-cream and this is the perfect time for them to have it, as having something cold will ease the swelling of the tonsils. As tonsillitis can either be caused by bacteria or a virus, you should quarantine your child during this period and prevent him or her from coming into close contact with other children as the infection might spread.

In the event that you do not see an improvement in your child’s condition, a clinical examination might be needed. Your doctor will usually take some saliva and bacterial samples from the back of the throat to determine the severity of the infection. This is either done by cotton swabbing the back of the mouth or via a rapid strep test to quickly diagnose your child for streptococcus infections. In most cases, antibiotics are prescribed to treat the bacteria and your child should be feeling better within a day or two. In some rare cases, the bacterial infection may be so bad antibiotics will not help much and if that’s the case further tests will need to be done to conclude if other steps need to be taken. This might be tonsil-removal surgery or a stronger antibiotic treatment.

While you can treat bacterial throat infections with antibiotics, there are no treatments for viral ones. In the event that your child has come down with a virus, your doctor will usually tell you to keep your child hydrated by drinking plenty of water, and keep the fever under control with drugs like Tylenol. As with any flu-like symptoms, it is important to have enough sleep in order to recover quickly. If your child’s immune system is strong, the effects of tonsillitis will normally subside within a week, if not then it’s probably a good idea to pay another visit to the doctor for further checkups.

As mentioned before, tonsils play an important part to the body’s immune system but sometimes the bacteria can work its way in so deep into the tonsils that they lie dormant there only to thrive again when the antibiotics wear off. The great thing about having a tonsillectomy is that sore throats will be a thing of the past for your child and re-infections will be unlikely for the rest of his life. The minor surgery will usually be performed under general anesthesia so your child will be unconscious during the whole procedure, and the whole thing is over and done with pretty quickly. The tonsils are simply removed by cutting them off at the back of the mouth. Usually the operation will not be performed during an infection or right after, as this could increase the risk of bleeding or bruising.

The child will not be able to eat solid foods for around a fortnight after the operation as the surgical area will be pretty raw. In the meantime, you may feed him soft foods, plenty of fluids and maybe some toast to help keep the raw skin from building up puss. Everything should be back to normal once recovered.

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Loose Weight After Pregnancy – 3 Exercises With Baby To Get Free Of Unsightly Pounds

Ready to get free of that loose weight? I know you know what I am talking about. That loose skin and weight that hangs at your tummy after having a little one. It can be pretty embarrassing if you feel like I do. You can’t even be dressed in a tight shirt without having a jelly roll showing. Fun? I think not. We are going to talk about how to get free of the loose weight after pregnancy in this article.

Loose Weight After Pregnancy

You can use some undemanding options to get rid of loose weight after pregnancy. You may think that it is difficult or that you have to buy a ton of supplements and “magic pills”. Many people are pushing all of this trash on you each and every day but you do not have to get it. You have everything that you need to lose weight.

Since you are dealing with fat from a pregnancy you can use the infant to help you get fit. I am sure that they are already running you ragged but why not let them to help you lose weight in the process?

Here are three exercises to do with your baby.

1. While laying on your back put the child on your legs, hold the little one’s chest or shoulders with your hands. Lift your feet and hands slowly to lift your child. Do a few of these until you are fatigued.

2. Slowly squat down while holding your babe. At least do 10 reps before resting, repeat until your legs are tired.

3. Infant lifts are also a really painless exercise that you can do. All you have to do is hold the newborn under their arms securely and lift him or her about face level and then down to your chest and then to face level. You can repeat this as numerous times as you want.

These are pretty uncomplicated and you can utilize these to get rid of that loose weight after pregnancy. Get a plan and go for it girl!

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Getting Rid Of Parental Stress

Having children is one of the best things one can experience. However, this does not come for free. Most parents experience a lot of stress caused by the children and the responsibility for them. Once children are born we rarely have more than a week in a row without worrying about our kids. Unless you really want to go nuts, it is an imperative to learn how to cope with such situation – fast.

First, remember that you should be calm. In situations where you can’t keep yourself together much longer, just walk away and take a few deep breaths. How can you know that the time is right? It’s simple: if you clench your fists and hear your voice rising, the stress attack is on the way. A few minutes more and you will lose your temper unless you go away. Remember that screaming will not do any good, even for you. If you have to scream, do it alone.

Speak your mind, even if it hurts. If you decide to let the situation spin out of control because you ignored the first signs of a problem, you’re the only one to blame. You can’t count on your children that they know what makes you stressed or what you want them to do unless you tell them. Avoid confrontation and you will end extremely stressed about more and more things until you won’t be able to hide it anymore and explode, possibly ruining the relationships you might have with your children.

Another thing is that you have to remain in control of a situation. Never let it follow its own course if you feel it’s not going to end well. If your kids are going to do something improper, bad or simply stupid, be the first to tell them that. If you can’t cope with the problem otherwise, use everything you have in your power (including grounding and similar punishments) to keep your children from doing things you don’t accept. Explain your reasons to them, but never let them make big mistakes – it is the shortest way for a parent to suffer a nervous breakdown.

Remember that even the smallest problems can greatly increase the parent’s stress level. In order to keep it in check, you have to always be able to relax, make sure that everything is under control and breath deeply anytime you meet a stressful situation. Also, solve the problems that cause you stress right away. Remember that when we talk about children, no problem can just go away. They will aggravate until you actually do something.

Author Bio: John Andrews writes about stress, stress relief and how to combat stress. For more information on Relagen and Natural Stress Relief , just click on the links.

Tips On How To Get Pregnant Fast

For some couples, getting pregnant can be a nightmare. Statistics show that around eighty five percent of couples who have regular unprotected intercourse will become pregnant within a year. If you are one of the twenty five percent of couples who have been trying for over a year without results, then you may have fertility problems.

It is conventionally taken that after about thirty a womans fertility will decline and after around forty a mans will, though far less steeply than a woman’s, making age a factor is fertility problems. Conception is said to take three or four times longer once a woman is over thirty five.

Chances are if you are thirty five and wanting a baby, you don’t want to wait for three of four more years, so finding out how to get pregnant fast and naturally is your best option. Getting pregnant fast is possible with natural methods no matter if you are thirty five or forty five despite what the conventional wisdom tells us.

Knowing your menstrual cycle inside out is the first imperative step. You need to know when you ovulate, so that you can try for your baby at the right times. I know it sounds obvious, but there is an astonishing amount of women who don’t understand their cycles and so have been trying at the wrong times and thus taking longer to get pregnant.

Keeping a record of your basal body temperature is one way to know when ovulation occurs, as your temperature will rise at this time. You can also purchase a mini microscope which will show the cellular pattern of your saliva. Hormonal changes at ovulation affect the pattern of your saliva, so you can see the exact times to try.

Preparing the soil, or taking care of your general health is also very important. Folic acid is a crucial factor in pregnancy, so including supplements and folate-rich foods such as legumes and green leafy veggies in your diet is important for your fertility. If you have any ovarian problems such as fibroids or cysts, you need to also deal with this problem, as it can be a huge inhibitor to pregnancy and cause serious infertility problems.

Don’t rush into surgery or heavy medication for fibroids and cysts unless absolutely necessary, because despite what the medicos and pharmaceutical companies say, there are natural ways to shrink and manage fibroids and cysts. It is important to understand that many fertility drugs and procedures can actually cause longer term damage to your reproductive system and your delicate hormonal balance, especially since there are alternative natural treatments which can help you get pregnant fast, and safely.

Fertility treatments such as IVF and heavy medications can have serious side effects and complications and can cause more fertility problems in the long run. There is the common problem of multiple births for a start, and the emotional upheaval that hormonal treatments can cause, not to mention the side effects of playing around with your hormones on such a strong level.

Getting pregnant fast is easy if you do everything you can to help. Your body tells you when there is an imbalance inside and infertility is one of the signs, usually the result of multiple factors. That is why taking a drug for one aspect of the fertility puzzle can sometime achieve no results at all. You can get pregnant quickly and easily without resorting to drugs by treating your body as a whole and tackling every aspect of the fertility puzzle, not just one side.

You can achieve your dream of a healthy baby and a natural pregnancy fast. Understanding your body and how to tackling every piece of the fertility puzzle will get you fast results.

Living With Special Needs Children

Following are questions asked by parents of special needs children:

1. Do special needs children understand cause and effect and also rewards versus punishments? Do they comprehend the same way as other children?

The interesting thing is that this is not an issue. All creatures great and small have an interest in reward versus punishment to some degree. Think about the bottom of the food chain such as a cockroach. Cockroaches despise the light and live to move around in the dark hours of the night. They associate good feelings with dark and bad feelings with light. They might not think about it in those terms or even at all.

Turn on the lights and the roach goes scuttling for darkness. In a very basic sense, light = punishment and darkness = reward. The behavior of escaping from light to dark is rewarded, and so is repeated.

Roaches don’t have a memory and can’t be instructed like we can. Canines can be instructed because they have a wonderful memory. They know, for example, if they hear the word “stay” they will stay in place in order to receive a treat or reward.

The more sophisticated the creature, the better their memory and analytical skills, and the greater their awareness of time (i.e. that future events will happen) then the more complex the varieties of reward and punishment that can be used.

How do you know what you can use? Simple. You start with a good guess, and then experiment. You implement a system of rewards and or punishments to modify a behavior (exact details of how to do this are in the book), and see what happens. If the behavior changes, the carry on! If it does not, then one of two things applies:

a) your rewards and punishments systems did not have large enough effect in your child’s life or

b) they were unable to make a connection between the behavior and the consequent reward or punishment. For example, if the time interval between behavior and consequence is too long, then the younger or less able child may not be able to connect the two.

So, when you see that your system is not working. You step back, have a think about it, modify it, and then try again. Ultimately you will either succeed in changing the behavior, or you won’t. Which leads to the second question:

2. What do you do when all your best efforts to change a behavior have failed? Richard (the Dad) has been struggling with his child, Tim, who has PDD. Tim is supposed to do a few hours of physical therapy each day. But guess what? Much of the time he is not too keen on the idea!

You try everything in your bag of tricks and read the book thoroughly. You try different reward and punishment systems to no avail. You have struggled to make physical therapy appear like a fun time. No matter what you do, you are not accomplishing the physical therapy session every day.

What can you do to fix this? You have two options including:

a. You could become all bent out of shape about it. You get mad at yourself for your apparent failure. You feel like you are no service to your child. You want to find the magic cure that will help your child do his physical therapy.

b. He can step back, look at the situation, and take a calmer, more pragmatic approach, accepting that maybe 50% of the time is all he is going to get, and that that is better than the 30% that Tim was doing a year ago.

Which is better?

The downfall of (a.) is that you will amp up your stress level which affects everyone negatively. You are not having a good time and your results won’t improve this way.

Sometimes you just have to understand the fact that your child may never be fully motivated to complete the physical therapy. It’s sad, but true. It is better to work with what you have then cry about not achieving perfection.

Is it not better to dial back the expectations and the striving, and aim to achieve the best that you can GIVEN THE LIMITATIONS YOU FIND YOURSELF UNDER? And, surprisingly, often when the stress is relieved, and the fun returns, then performance improves. But even if it doesn’t, which would you rather have: a) 50% performance and everyone is miserable or, b) 50% performance and everyone is happy?

The important thing to remember is to not try to compete to an unrealistic level. Strive to achieve the small successes and accept that things might never totally be the way you want them to be.

Worried about your child struggling in school? Thinking about special educational needs? Read more of Dr. Noel Swanson’s parenting tips and articles, and get a FREE gift, at his parenting advice website, and check out his acclaimed GOOD CHILD Guide and free newsletter. About Behaviour

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